Annoying the Demigods 101
by Chick With Brains
Summary: Travis and Connor, the half-blood experts on being annoying, tell you how to annoy all your favorite campers. Today, Nico! Review, flame, favorite, anything! Over 100 reviews says it's probably worth reading! Thanks to all my R&Rers, you rock!
1. Percy

**A/N: I wanted to make a list of how to annoy the campers at Camp Half-Blood, and I thought: _Who knows how to annoy people better than Travis and Connor Stoll? _So, here they are now. Enjoy, R & R!**

Travis: Dude, can you believe they're letting us do this?

Connor: I know! Hey, you know what we should do? Type stupid news headlines on here like Satyr Attacks Hades, Hades Kicks Satyr's Butt.

Travis: That's a stupid idea. Aphrodite Cabin Throws Flaming Marshmallows At Mr. D is a much better headline.

Connor: *rolls eyes* We're supposed to tell people how to annoy the demigods. Who first?

Travis: Percy, of course. He's fun to annoy.

**Ways To Annoy Percy Jackson**

1. Ask him over and over if he's the lightning thief.

2. When he says "No!", say "I already knew that."

3. When you hear about a volcano erupting, ask him if he caused it.

4. Attack him with a pen in your hand saying "I've got Riptide!"

5. Tell him that you see a skeleton warrior staring in his window at night.

6. Walk up to him holding a dagger and ask if you can see his Achilles' heel.

7. Tell him that Annabeth joined the Hunters.

8. Tell him stupid jokes like "What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved."

9. Ask him if his dad lives in a pineapple under the sea.

10. Call him Fish Boy, Water Dude, Mermaid, etc.

11. Ask him why his mom married a blowfish.

12. Push him into the river every time you play Capture the Flag to see if it will cause a tidal wave.

**A/N: Thanks 4 reading! All who review will get cookies!**


	2. Annabeth

**A/N: Thanks everyone for the great reviews! Reviewers are awesome. :)**

Travis: It looks like people love our funny lists! And by that, I mean they love me.

Connor: Are you kidding, bro? They love _me_.

Travis: Enough of this. It's time to pick out which camper we annoy next. Just let me look into my crystal ball and see whose name comes up...

Connor: There's no crystal ball, Travis. We're drawing names out of a baseball cap.

Travis: Sure we are. Next is Annabeth!

**Ways to Annoy Annabeth Chase**

1. Steal her Yankees invisibility cap. It's very helpful if you want to rob somebody without getting caught.

2. When you see her kiss Percy, run away screaming "AAHHH! MY EYES!"

3. Hey, even better: When you see her kiss Percy, take a picture and email it to Athena. (Connor, of course the gods have email. It's the next best thing to Iris-messaging.)

4. Suddenly tell her to stand _very, very still _so the spider on her back won't bite her.

5. Tell her that an evil-looking cow has been following her around.

6. Ask her stupid questions, then when she doesn't answer them say "I thought your mom was the goddess of wisdom!"

7. Ask her if she's a natural blonde, then accuse her of dying her hair.

8. Tell her that you don't think it's possible to be a blonde and smart at the same time.

9. Change one of her grades to a D on her report card, then laugh when she sees it and freaks out.

10. Ask her if she was named after Abigail Chase from the National Treasure movies.** (A/N: I seriously do wonder about that...)**

11. After asking about No. 10, follow her around begging her to find some buried treasure for you.

12. Tell her that your girlfriend (or if you're a girl, your brother's girlfriend) is smarter than her.

13. Destroy her miniature model of the Empire State Building, then blame it on King Kong's baby brother.

* * *

Travis: That was awesome!

Me: Hey guys, I have a contest for the reviewers.

Connor: Sweet, what is it?

Me: The first one to guess who we will annoy next will get to introduce the next list with the Stoll brothers.

Travis: Wait a sec, you already know who the next one is?

Me: Just tell me who you think it is in your review and also include who your godly parent is.

Travis: _I _don't even know who's next! Connor, I thought we were drawing names out of a hat.

Connor: Well, you shouldn't believe everything a child of Hermes says.

Travis: grrrrrr...

**A/N: Please review! Hints for the contest: the character is a demigod that is mentioned in all five PJO books.**


	3. Clarisse

**A/N: Again, thanks everyone for reviewing, you guys rock! Also, waterpoloplayer was the first to guess correctly that today's list is about Clarisse! If you see her tell her congrats!**

Travis: I heard that we would have a special guest today!

Waterpoloplayer: That's me!

Connor: Um, who are you again?

Waterpoloplayer: I'm the daughter of Apollo who won the contest from yesterday.

Travis: That's awesome! Hey, just wondering, after today's list do you want to come see the canoe lake with me-

Connor: Forget it, you already have Katie! Anyway, do you have your wallet with you, Apollo's kid? And if so, could I take it- I mean, have a look at it?

Waterpoloplayer: Oh Hades, this is going to be a long day...

**Ways to Annoy Clarisse La Rue**

1. Fill her sock drawer full of gummy bears.

2. Replace all her violent movies with Dora the Explorer tapes.

3. Write her a threatening note, then sign it with "Sorry, just kidding."

4. Tell all her cabinmates that she still listens to Hannah Montana.

5. Loudly sing and dance to "Whip My Hair" outside her room while she's taking a nap.

6. Tell her that your little sister could beat her up.

7. Ask her if all her brothers and sisters are as dumb as her.

8. Tell her that you saw Chris and Drew making out.

9. Paint her battle armor hot pink.

10. If she actually goes out in her pink armor, whistle and say "Lookin' good!"

11. Put makeup on her while she's sleeping- a LOT of makeup.

12. Mention that Blackbeard was a child of Ares, then start calling her Pirate Girl.

13. Tell her that "Ares" rhymes with "fairies". (Well, it's true.)

14. Put a sign on her door that says "I love kittens".

* * *

*Clarisse storms into the room*

Clarisse: Why, you little- YOU"RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS, TRAVIS STOLL!

Connor: Hahaha... :)

Waterpoloplayer: Hey Connor, I think your next headline is Local Demigod Ends Up In The Hospital.

**A/N: Thanks readers! PS: Please R&R my other story called Keeping The Faith. I know you people are looking at it but there's only one review! So please? It will make the gods happy...**


	4. Luke

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I've just been busy. Hope you like this!**

Travis: Hello, people of the internet!

Connor: We're typing this from the infirmary, 'cause Travis still hasn't recovered from when Clarisse beat him up last time. *cough* he's a wimp *cough*

Travis: Hey, I heard that!

Connor: Don't care. Today, we remember our half-brother Luke. May he rest in peace-

Travis: And may Kronos rest in pieces.

Connor: Ha ha, real funny, and I am being sarcastic.

**Ways To Annoy Luke Castellan**

1. Sneak up behind him and say in a menacing voice, "Luke, I am your father."

2. Pretty much anything comparing him to Star Wars will annoy him.

3. Tell him that him and Kronos make a good couple.

4. For bonus points, start singing "Hey, Soul Sister".

5. Ask him why he wants to be a host for his great-grandpa.

6. Tell the whole camp that he's dating Thalia.

7. Ask him if he's gone to the dark side.

8. Cut his hair really short, then tell him he looks like a Marine.

9. Spray paint his cabin pink. (Travis: Connor, that's our cabin, too.) (Connor: Good point. Hey people, just ignore #9.)

10. Tell him that you changed his name to Puke Ca-smell-an.

11. Ask him why his sword looks so funny, and why couldn't he just use a normal sword?

12. Make a worried face, then when he asks you what's going on say, "Watch out. You're mom's coming to visit."

* * *

Travis: Well, I guess that's all.

Connor: You're right, if you type any more it might injure your wimpy arms.

Travis: Come on, Connor, everyone gets beat up by Clarisse sometime or another. Remember when she beat you up after you-

Connor: Don't talk about that! The police are still looking for me because of that.

Travis: Hey, I can already hear the sirens coming closer!

Connor: grrrrrr...

**A/N: Thanks! Please keep the reviews coming. Remember, I still have cookies...**


	5. Thalia

**A/N: Another chapter is up! Show it to everyone in the room and make them all send a review. :)**

Travis: Finally, I'm out of the infirmary! Wanna sign my cast, anyone?

Me: I do! Hey, who wrote all the swear words on it?

Connor: Clarisse. I think she's still angry at Travis.

Travis: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Me: Well, see you guys later. I need to go annoy someone... =]

Connor: Hey, so do we. How about Thalia?

**Ways To Annoy Thalia Grace**

1. Constantly try to set her up with Nico.

2. Act like you think all trees have a person inside.

3. Just to freak her out, lie and tell her that if she had aged normally she would already be 40.

4. Every time it thunders, say, "DON"T BE MAD AT ME, THALIA!"

5. Taunt her by saying, "If you're so powerful, zap me with lightning!"  
But you might not want to try this unless you want to take a permanent vacation to the underworld...

6. Ask her if she ever tried to eat a stapler.

7. When you're both in a high place, tell her how nice the view is and how much it would hurt if she fell.

8. Buy her a camouflage suit. When she complains, say, "But I thought you were a hunter!"

9. Say something very insulting about Green Day when she's in earshot.

10. Put purple streaks in her hair and give her a perm.

11. Make her read every story on Fanfiction that involves a child of Artemis.

12. Make her read every story on Fanfiction that pairs her up with Nico.

13. Give her a pink slip of paper and say, "It's from Artemis. You're fired."

* * *

Travis: Hey Connor, why do you look so nervous?

Connor: It's just that if Thalia saw this, we'd both be dead.

Travis: Dude, don't worry. Thalia's off with the Hunters for the rest of the week.

Connor: Really?

Travis: No one's hurting you- at least not this time.

Connor: Thank- hey, what was that last part again?

Travis: Oh, nothing.

**A/N: Almost 50 reviews! Keep them coming, please! I love you all!**


	6. Drew

**A/N: Several of you are requesting a Katie chapter. I love Tratie as much as you guys, so I'm definitely planning to annoy her soon! Until then, enjoy this chapter!**

Travis: It's kinda fun to read the stories posted about us.

Connor: Yeah! Hey, look at this one.

Travis: Which one?

Connor: The one called "Doves and Dancing". It says you're the main character.

Travis: Sounds like the title of a chick flick. I'll read it anyway.

*reads for a while*

Travis: EWWW! This person paired me with DREW!

Connor: Aw, look, your couple name is Trew! Go to the next chapter. It says you and Drew will make out!

Travis: Whoever wrote this is just begging to be flamed...

**Ways To Annoy Drew**

1. Replace all her designer high heels with bowling shoes.

2. This also works with nurse's shoes. Shoes of Shame...mwa ha ha ha!

3. Put on her makeup and ask her if you look hot.

4. Draw a mustache and beard on her poster of Orlando Bloom.

5. Give her a picture of some guy in a clown suit and tell her clown suits are the latest trend.

6. Give her all the details of Piper's mist-kiss with Jason.

7. Tell her Team Jacob cabinmates that she's on Team Edward. Fighting will ensue.

8. Tell her Team Edward cabinmates that she's on Team Jacob. More fighting will ensue.

9. Paint little angry faces on her nails while she sleeps.

10. Ask her, "Isn't Drew a boy's name?"

11. Tell her that Piper is a way better camp counselor than her.

12. Say something like this: "Great job on your quest! Oh wait, that was Piper. Never mind!"

* * *

Travis: Thank the gods that there's only four chapters of "Doves and Dancing"!

Connor: Yes, but you have to admit that it's a very romantic story.

Travis: I will get revenge...hey, is that Drew outside the cabin?

*Drew walks in, holding giant bag of makeup.*

Drew: Actually, I'm the one getting revenge. Minions!

*Ten Aphrodite campers start putting makeup on the Stolls.*

_Time Lapse_

Travis: Connor, you look like a clown!

Connor: Like you don't! I didn't even know they made purple lipstick until they made you wear it.

Travis: Well, _I'm_ not the one in the sparkly mascara.

Connor: Touche.

**A/N: First of all, I don't think there are actually any Travis/Drew fics out there, but if there are, I didn't mean to make fun of it.**

**Second, I would like your opinion about a few things, since you can only have one poll on your profile at a time.**

**1. If Aphrodite let you put together any PJO couple that doesn't already exist, who would you choose?**

**2. I'm thinking of writing a fic called Annoying An Author 101, where a girl would be bugging her sister on Fanfiction. Would you read it if I wrote it?**

**Again, thank for all the happy reviews!**


	7. Katie

**A/N: I'm back! With more ways to annoy everyone at camp! Like Katie, who is right there at the bottom of the page. Hope you like it!**

Travis: Hi everyone! Thank the gods we're behind a computer, because we still haven't washed all the makeup off.

Connor: You need that washed off? Being pushed into the canoe lake should do the trick.

Travis: No! Connor, my laptop- AAHHHHH!

*splash*

Connor: Hehehe.

Travis: Connor, you-

(The rest of this conversation is not appropriate for a K+ fic. Let's get started with the annoying and leave these two to fight it out, shall we?)

**Ways to Annoy Katie Gardner**

1. Place an ad in the CHB newsletter saying: "Katie Gardner: Plant-sitter for Hire".

2. Write TRATIE 4 EVA on all her stuff.

3. Place a bouquet of poison ivy on her shelf and tell her it's a "rare exotic vine". This is annoying whether she believes it or not.

4. Fill her cabinets and any other available space with cereal boxes.

5. Cover the entire Demeter cabin in green tissue paper.

6. Sing "Love Story" by Taylor Swift, changing the names Romeo and Juliet to Travis and Katie.

7. "Marry me, Katie," "Travis, take me, somewhere we can be alone," I really like the last idea. :)

8. Put flowers all in your hair and sit in her garden, saying you're trying to attract butterflies.

9. Start a Get Katie's Half Sister Persephone Out Of The Underworld Right This Very Minute Club, and insist that the meetings be held in Katie's room.

10. During the G.K.H.S.P.O.O.T.U.R.T.V.M.C. meetings (see above), play Justin Bieber music at full volume.

11. Did you know that certain types of music *cough cough Justin Bieber cough cough* will cause some enchanted plants to shrivel up and die? Yeah.

12. Jump around saying "PARTY TIME!" while throwing around Cheerios like confetti.

* * *

Connor: Just let it go, Trav. I know now that pushing you in was a really bad idea.

Travis: Yes, and I still hate you.

Connor: You might not for long.

Travis: What is that supposed to mean?

Katie: There you are! I've been looking for you all day. *kisses Travis*

Travis: Um, h-hi, Katie-wow.

Katie: My work here is done. See ya!

Travis: *skips away singing "All You Need Is Love"*

Connor: Well, that was odd. But at least he's not mad at me anymore. ;)

**A/N: I love Tratie. :D And Bieber fans, sorry for all the anti-Justin comments up there. I've never liked him all that much.**

**Who's next? I'll just tell you right now...it's-**

**Sorry, I can't tell you. Connor won't let me, and Travis won't stop singing. You'll find out later!**


	8. Nico

**A/N: Hi, bonjour, kon'nichiwa , γειά σου , and hola! Now that I'm at 105 reviews, I just wanted to say that I love you guys for taking the time to let me know what you think. Especially if Logan Lerman is out there. If that's you, Logan, I love you a LOT more than all those other random readers! No offense to the random readers intended. ;) Seriously, you guys rock.**

Travis: What was that?

Connor: What was what?

Travis: That _thing_ moving in the shadows!

Connor: There's nothing back there. Don't be so paranoid.

Travis: Well, if you say so-WHAT WAS THAT?

Connor: Look behind you, dude. There's nothing at all.

Travis: Okay, then-_WHAT WAS THAT?_

Connor: Travis, just how much coffee did you have this morning?

**Ways To Annoy Nico di Angelo**

1. Tell the whole camp about his "secret Care Bears obsession".

2. Call him Emo Boy and laugh when he protests against the new nickname.

3. Paint little pink hearts all over his cabin.

4. Bonus points if you write T + N (just guess what that stands for) inside every heart.

5. Make Hades take him to "Bring Your Child To Work Day".

6. Get him hyped up on Mountain Dew and Fun Dip, then video him as he runs around camp breaking everything.

7. Dress all in black, sit on a rock with your arms crossed, put on an angry face, and ask him if he likes your Nico di Angelo impression.

8. Constantly quote Twilight whenever he's around.

9. Call him Nicolas, Nicole, Nikki, or any other annoying variant of his actual name.

10. Ask him: since he's technically over 70 years old, shouldn't he be wearing dentures and listening to oldies?

11. Tell the Aphrodite girls that he's single, and watch as all of them either try to set him up with Thalia or ask to date him themselves.

12. Two words: Cheese Cannons! We don't actually know what those are, but the Hermes cabin can always invent one!

* * *

Connor: Wasn't that fun? Now you can stop worrying about whatever it was in the-

Nico: Who _dares_ to tell the Internet twelve different ways to annoy me?

Connor: Oh my Zeus, it's Nikki- I mean, our very kind and nonviolent shadow traveling friend named Nico!

Travis: I know I should probably be scared, but seriously? Who says "who dares to" anymore?

Nico: Very funny. I blame it on spending too much time with Charon. That isn't the point, though.

Connor: Well, what is the point?

Nico: These lists are really going to anger the gods when they see them. And believe me, they will. Your dad practically never leaves his laptop!

Travis: The gods should just be glad they're not being annoyed, right?

Nico: Probably, but my father thinks you should lay low for a while to stay out of harm's way. By that, I mean _way_ low.

Connor: Wait, you're not seriously thinking about-

Nico: Yes, I am. Would you rather stay with Persephone or with the Furies?

Travis and Connor: _Say what?_

**A/N: Plot twist! Even though there wasn't that much of a plot anyway, but oh well! I'm not sure who I should write about next, so could you guys tell me who you want the Stolls to annoy next? The most popular choice will be featured next chapter!**

**Goodbye, adios, ciao, sayanora, aloha, and αντίο,**

**~Chick With Brains~**


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